A Snazzy Intro : Our Big Members : World Tour Dates : Lookie Here'n Listen : Big Ditties : Buy Stuff! : Ring-a Ding-ding
Hey Baby! Welcome to the only swingin’ site on the Internet that matters, the…drum roll please…oooofficial Big Fat Slim and the Has-Beens site! (insert dramatic trumpet music here). That’s right ladies and gentlemen, this is your online resource for all that’s cool, swank, plush, and glittery in the world of your fave teenage heart throbs, the Has-Beens. So mix yourself a cocktail, or pop open a cold one as you sit back and immerse yourself in the hip rapturous online vibe of the greatest Vegas-a-Billy band the world has ever known…a drinking band with a music problem…Big Fat Slim and the Has-Beens!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen…and you know who you are…
While you're here- please take a moment to check out these Swanky Links of some of the coolest cats we know. And, as for that sexy vibe, don't take our word for it- just see how much fun these crazed fans are having at Has-Beens Shows:
Michael Malpezzi: Last night was my first Cheese show and I was amazed. I had extremely high expectations, yet you guys managed to blow them out of the water - I can honestly say I have never been so thoroughly entertained for so long. Also, the guy who sang 'Rape Me' is my new hero.
You guys were super dooper!- Fred Mazzeo / Fish On!
Your band was completely rediculous, but in an awesome fun way. I love you guys!- Dogfish Patron
The singer was so obnoxious and cheesy. The Has-Been's are my new favorite band.- Dogfish Patron
Sarah Winston: Kudos to Chris and his rendition of "Rape Me," and to the guy in the row in front of me with the Ipod for getting you the lyrics so quickly!
Shannon Cooney Kerns: Chris did RAPE me so welll !!! That had to be his best birthday...ever!!!
Jason Weissberg: We saw almost all of The BFS set and it was great. Way to Rock my wife into labor.
Graeme King: Top times indeed! We really enjoyed BFS, and it was great to meet you and see you play - that was a superb evening - thanks!
Unknown Dogfish Patron: They're like a bad wedding reception.
Craig Fraser: You know I love you man...
Rhonda/Dover - When I've seen you guys before I was completely drunk, and it sounded alright. But when I saw you this weekend I was completely sober, and I was absolutely blown away! Wow! You guys are awesome and totally rocked the house!
'It was fun as shit!' Terri Clifton
"You didn't suck tonight. You have a good voice." Craig Fraser
"You are so freakin' swank! You're an incredible showman and I love you guys." (One sexy...) Dogfish Patron
"I LOVED it!" Justine - Planet X
"Guess the world was waiting for tonight!" Gregg Barley - The Chameleon Club / Lancaster PA
"I thought BFS stood for Best F'ing Songmachine...then I saw them live...and now i'm sure BFS stands for Best F'ing Songmachine" Sam Calagione - Dogfish Head / Owner
"Shuttup this is awesum" Melody Gardot - Universal Records
Disclaimer: This website can perhaps cause severe euphoria and extreme sexiness if not digested within safe moderation. If you at any point start to experience uncontrollable hip shakes, suaveness, or perma-grins, step away from the computer and get to a Has-Beens show ASAP.
Jennifer's Imagination
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